Choosing Gifts That Will Spark Joy

Over the years, I’ve observed many of my clients having a difficult time letting go of gifts that didn’t spark joy. One client had a closet bursting with unworn clothes her mother had given to her; another, plagued by guilt, had been holding on to dishes and home goods she’d received decades earlier and never used.

It was a sad paradox. The gift givers had wanted to make the recipients happy, but the gifts were making them unhappy!

I’ve given gifts that weren’t a hit before. Once, I gave a rather large toy to a family with children who lived in a compact house. I didn’t consider their storage capacity when choosing the gift, and I have a feeling it ended up being more of a burden than a delight.

Now, before I search for a gift, I imagine what would spark joy based on the recipient’s lifestyle. I recall specific details about their daily routines, living quarters, and interests: How much space do they have? What activities do they like to do? What objects do they treasure?

Once I’ve considered the details of their day-to-day lives, I can search in earnest.

When I find an item that I think will complement the recipient’s lifestyle, I imagine them using or holding it. If the vision sparks joy, I’m on the right track. The item itself doesn’t have to spark joy for me, but having a positive feeling when I picture my loved one using it is always a good sign. Mindset is important – the feelings we have while choosing a gift transfer to the item itself.

Giving gifts without expectations or agenda releases both the giver and the receiver from undue pressure. The true purpose of a gift is to be received – whether or not it’s used and loved for years to come is besides the point. Of course, it’s wonderful to select gifts that spark joy, but choosing them thoughtfully – as a way to convey our feelings for loved ones – makes for a truly meaningful exchange.