This guest column is part of our Organize the World series, in which we feature KonMari Consultants from the many countries (58 and counting!) where they’re changing lives through organizing. We’ve asked them to give us their unique insights into living a more organized life.
Before becoming a KonMari Consultant, Caroline Thor was a trained teacher who ran a small business teaching classes in English to expat families and kids in Germany. When the pandemic hit, classes stopped, giving Caroline some unexpected time to consider the next phase of her life. She was 48 at the time, with three kids at home, including a child with autism and ADHD and another child with ADHD.
As she considered ways to bring in income without sacrificing time and connection with her family, she stumbled on the KonMari Consultant Program and realized she could take the certification course virtually. “I had completed a KonMari Method tidying festival in 2014, but I had no idea that was a thing!” says Caroline. “I had an immediate reaction to it and signed up straight away.” A year later, she sold her teaching business to work as a KonMari Consultant full-time.
Given that Caroline works full-time as her own boss while also raising three children, now ages 16, 15, and 11, and runs her own podcast, Living Clutter Free Forever, we asked her to share some of her best advice for balancing running a business (or a full-time job) with everything that comes along with raising happy, thriving kids. Her tips will change how you think about the idea of “balance.” Here’s Caroline.
01. You Can Create Your Own Definition of “Work-Life Balance”
Many people talk about having a work-life balance, but I don’t think it is necessarily possible or even sensible. Instead, I’ve learned to see “balance” more as a series of phases – there are some when I can really focus on my business and others when I need to focus on the motherhood aspect of my life. I have one child with autism and ADHD, and I do not know from one day to the next what will be possible for them – or how much time that will give me for my business each day.
The KonMari Method has helped me realize that I can build my schedule and lifestyle around what sparks joy for me and prioritize them accordingly, whether that means spending time with my kids or doing something to move the needle in my business. That might change daily, and that is still a kind of balance.
“You don’t have to do it all. You just don’t. The priority is your health and the health of your children and family.”
02. You’ll Never Get It All Done – So Don’t!
Just as I’ve discarded the stereotype of “work-life balance,” I no longer believe you have to “get it all done”— at least not at the expense of your happiness.
You don’t have to do it all. You just don’t. The priority is your health and the health of your children and family. If the house gets more untidy than usual, that’s just how it is in this season of your life. We are all bombarded by images of perfectly organized pantries, kitchens, and living rooms. That is not the reality in most homes, so let go of perfectionism, do what you can, and enjoy your time with your children while they are small.
The same logic applies to every other aspect of your life. When I first used the KonMari Method to tidy my home, I quickly realized I needed all other areas of my life to support our family’s ideal lifestyle. I’m now highly aware that I don’t need to say yes to all the things, especially if having an over-full calendar will leave me feeling frazzled. I don’t have to bake a cake if people are coming over and I am short on time – I can buy something! (The important thing is spending time with them.)
Before I do – or agree to – anything I now always ask myself, “Does doing this support my ideal lifestyle?” If the answer is no, I don’t do it!
“Many people talk about having a work-life balance, but I don’t think it is necessarily possible or even sensible. Instead, I’ve learned to see 'balance' more as a series of phases.”
03. Start Thinking In Terms of Micro-Habits (They Add Up!)
Many habits change or fall aside as soon as you have children. And when you return to work, you’ll likely find that the workplace and after-hours habits you once had are no longer suitable for you. As a working mom, I’ve learned to embrace smaller habits instead. They are:
- 10 minutes of tidying every day, which includes all family members
- Writing a weekly meal plan so I never have to think about what I am going to be cooking
- Having a set cleaning and laundry schedule to help me keep on top of it all
- Blocking time in my day for work, time for family, and time for me!
You might not think that 10 minutes of tidying does much. Still, building in 10 minutes of tidying every evening – and making tidying up a fun game with the kids every day – helped me stay on top of the organization, especially as a new mom. How much you can get done in 10 minutes when focused is incredible. Do that seven days a week, and that’s over an hour of tidying in the bag! You can build up to 10 minutes multiple times daily as your children grow.
04. Think in Threes (and Write Them Down)
I have learned I have to plan if I am going to get anything done. I use an old-school paper planner, and every morning before I get started on anything I write down the three things that I have to get done that day. These are informed by three big goals I set at the start of the week. These could be goals for the business and/or things for the home and family.
After I’ve written my three “must-dos,” I list things I should try to do that day. That includes things like washing the towels, meal planning for the week, emailing my client about their appointment, etc.
This list keeps me on track in all areas. My three must-dos should be ticked off by the end of the day, but the others get moved to the next day if I haven’t got around to them. For me, it has been a complete game-changer!
05. Make a List of “Non-Negotiables” and Schedule Them into Your Calendar
I block time for me on my calendar. My business is so busy; if I didn’t, I would always have work I could be doing. So I make time once a week to meet a good friend in the forest for a walk, I go on a long walk with our dog every day, and I have a weekly exercise session with a trainer in the calendar. These things have to be non-negotiable. Time outside gives me space to reflect, relax, and recharge my batteries. It makes me more effective in all areas of my life and definitely makes me a calmer and more present mom.
